Living Intentionally

So something's been missing in our lives and we weren't sure what it was. We've tried almost everything and it seemed that nothing fit the void that was there. I thought, maybe we needed to move and find it elsewhere. Well, we never ended up moving but we have decided to "live intentionally". We want to say the things that need to be said, do the things that need to be done, and enjoy the people that God placed in our lives as family and friends.

We've spent the days since the funeral totally engaged in our children and family. It has been so fulfilling. I am completely sure that God has had me on a journey while trying to move (over the past 4 years) to learn something. I was sure that the lesson involved actually moving, but I'm not so sure anymore. You see, our kids are with us so much of the time that we had become numb to the treasures in this life. Going through the day to day life had left us with a "same ol same ol" attitude and we had become stagnant. We have decided that we are not going to be that family. We want to enjoy our children, our family and our friends. We want our children to enjoy their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins; oh and us too (wink, wink). The kind of connection I'm speaking of is not by chance. It is not developed by having the "same ol same ol" attitude. It is, however, something that is completely intentional. You have to be connected, plugged in and yes vulnerable. I look forward to living intentionally.

Here we are again...





So, here we are again...this time last year we were having the same conversations. The same questions and concerns were on topic. We were in a position that we should be moving, but yet we just hadn't climbed in the car and gone. With a sweet job in place, a house already leased and my best friend waiting for my arrival. My husband and I sit wondering what continues to keep us here. Last year it was fear. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of making the wrong decisions. This year we were 100% confident. There was 'NO FEAR' involved or holding us back. We were ready, hands down. But how come it's moving day and we are still here in Florida? Why aren't we spending our first night in our "new" house, waiting to start a new job on Monday? The only answer I have is because we are supposed to be. Tuesday night, I sat on a pew holding on to my husband as we grieved the loss of our friend and we realized what our family is missing and it wasn't what we had thought (more about this later). So, do we stay or do we go? There are many many reasons to stay here and endless possibilities if we go, but one thing is here that I can't get back and that is time. Time with our parents, our brothers and sisters and their families, especially our nieces and nephews who are growing so fast.

Time is short, life is short and it looks like "Our Big Adventure" will be continuing here in Florida. With short trips to new places here and there. 

Life is short!

Last Thursday my husband lost his best friend. A friend that was like a brother to him. He can be found in some of our fondest memories. He was even the best man in our wedding. With his quiet temperament and his giving nature, he always seemed to make me smile. We were always laughing.

His name was Bobby. He was only 35 years old and he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in April of this year. We researched what all this meant on our own and soon learned that Bobby was in this fight for his life. You see, the cancer was already stage 4 when they found it. We knew that this would take a miracle. Bobby was a fighter! He fought til the very end, harder than anyone I've ever seen fight, but in the end the cancer won and the world lost an incredible man. 

I find it very sad how it's so easy to say these things about a person after they die, but our pace of daily lives or maybe the fear of sounding silly keeps us from saying them directly to the person when they are alive and really should hear it. 

Tomorrow is the funeral. It will be the second funeral we will attend for a friend that was more like a brother. Like SteveO's funeral, we will gather at the funeral home. Old friends standing shoulder to shoulder, talking about memories of Bobby. About how much we love him and how much he will be missed. Then the conversations will turn to how fast time flies and that we should get together more often. How we should let conflicts from the past go and how we should stop having reunions at funerals. 

Well the truth is....life IS short. You never know when your time is up. You never know when your spouse, your brother, your sister or your best friend's time will be up. So, tell them you love them. Tell them how great you think they are. Tell them the things you would say about them when they are gone, because really WHO CARES if you look silly doing or saying these things. The reality is one day you may not be able to.

As my husband and I were saying good-bye to Bobby's dad in the hospital parking lot Thursday, he said "Go home and kiss your kids." And that's just what we did.

We love you Bobby and can't believe that you are really gone. You will be missed so much, but you will live on through your baby girl. See ya in heaven, one day. Tell SteveO we miss him.

11 more days.....

So, here we are 11 short days from the biggest adventure that we have ever been on as a family. On November 27, in the wee hours of the morning, we will kiss our mothers and brothers (and everyone else, too) good-bye see-ya-later and point the nose of our truck to the north east. We will drive for more than half a day arriving in Tennessee. To a house we've never seen (well only in pictures). I will start a job where I have not see the facility or met the managers face to face. Some may see this as scary, while others think we are just plain NUTS. We see this as perfect opportunity to trust that the Lord has orchestrated this right down to the fine details and that he is in control.